Juan And The Ridiculous F.A.Q.s

Q: How did the idiom 'cock and bull story' come about?
A: During Medieval times the chickens were kept far apart from the cows. And therefore the cockerels were kept away from the bulls. This was due to the fact that the bulls usually trampled the male birds to death if kept in close proximity, as bulls were not known to be careful walkers. So, it was impossible to find a bull and a cockerel together, which would mean utter nonsense, and hence the birth of this idiom.

Q: Can ants hear you talk?
A: Science aside, the fact that cursing an ant's mother does not cause it to react in any agitated manner points to the absence of a sense of hearing for ants. However, it could also be probable that the ant did curse you back, but it was just too soft for you to hear. Further experiments will need to be conducted in order to fully answer this question.

Q: LOL has so many meanings. Which is the official one?
A: It is true that LOL has many meanings, but it was originally only meant to stand for Laugh Out Loud. Hence Laugh/Laughing Out Loud may be considered the official, with Lots Of Love trailing as a second. Other versions like Lose Our Lungs, Lack Of Labour, Look Out Losers! and a lot more can be considered cheap versions invented by people like me.

*Getting quite an education, eh?*

Q: Why's a bulls-eye a bulls-eye?
A: Nobody would ever want to hit a bull in the eye, as even the survivors living to tell the tale would lose a few limbs and maybe an eye. So since you can't really go hit the real thing, you might as well paint something and hit it with darts and arrows, and call it a bulls-eye. It won't harm you, and you can show off about hitting a ferocious mammal's sight-receptors.

Q: Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
A: The carrot's in the ground, with soil, be it brown, black, yellow etc. The orange hangs in the air. The colour of the soil seeps into the carrot, darkening its shade of orange. As for the orange, it's colour is all original. No extra dyes. So the orange is lighter. Why is the orange called an orange then? That you have to ask those idiots that gave the orange its name in the first place.

Q: Can goats smile? (Derived from 'Senyum Kambing')
A: I can't think of any damn reason why a goat would ever smile at you, but for the people who tried to make a goat smile, most ended up with goat horns stuck in their stomachs, and the lucky ones got great running training. This has discouraged researchers from further investigating the mystery of smiling goats. Goats, it is believed, can't actually smile, so if one ever looks like its smiling at you, it's probably suffering from a minor stroke, causing it to lose control of its mouth muscles, or it may be just a goat's version of Parkinson's Disease.


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