Corporate Lessons 101 Update

These are the remaining corporate lessons that I think I failed to ever mention to anyone since I kept forgetting them. Again I cannot claim credit for the wonderful stories. Someone else made them up. I'm just helping to spread the errr... wisdom.

1) A rabbit was passing by a tree and saw a crow perched on the topmost branch. So it asked the crow, "What are you doing up there?". The crow replied, "I'm doing nothing!". The rabbit thought it would be nice to just sit under the tree doing nothing all day like the crow. So it sat there and was relaxing happily, then a fox came by and ate it. The end.

Corporate lesson: To sit there doing nothing, you've got to be sitting very high up.

2) A turkey had always wanted to be able to climb trees, but of course, that was not possible. One day this turkey met a bull. the bull said, "If you eat my shit (sorry again for the language), you may get the strength to climb up to the first branch. The turkey did consume some of the bull's droppings, and successfully climbed to the first branch. It ate more, and managed to reach the second branch... the third branch and so on. Finally, it reached the top of the tree. Then, an eagle flew by and (yes, you guessed it) ate it. *It's amusing how all corporate lesson stories end with an animal being eaten. The end.

Corporate lesson: Bullshit may get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Hope you had a good laugh like I did when I first came across these.

Corporate Lessons 101

Today on msn I was chatting with my good old friend Lawrence when he asked me if I had updated my blog. I said no as inspiration hadn't struck me in the head just yet. The wise Lawrence told me that tulis apa saja pun boleh asalkan tak kutuk orang sampai lompat turun Penang Bridge.

So I'll share a joke or errr... story about corporate lessons. Teng Shin you've heard of this before.

One day a bird was flying in the sky. Suddenly, it began to snow and the bird, unable to stand the cold weather, fell to the ground. It was going to freeze to death (oh no!).

Fortunately for our feathered fellow, a bull passed by and dropped a lump of shit(sorry for the language) on the freezing bird. The shit actually preserved the bird's body heat and saved it's life!

Of course the bird was happy, so it began to sing. A cat happened to be walking by, and upon hearing the singing, promptly dug the bird out of the shit and ate it.

End of the story.

Corporate Lesson number 1: NOT everyone that drops shit on you is your enemy.

Corporate Lesson number 2: NOT everyone that gets you out of shit is your friend.

And finally...

Corporate Lesson number 3: When you're in Deep Shit, SHUT UP!!!

I didn't think of that myself. Some other guy did the thinking for me, but I really enjoyed the story, and hope you did too. :P

Toilet Thinking

Yes folks, of all things, I just have to choose to write about a toilet.

Okay. Let's begin with a story. Today, before class in college, I visited the toilet to use the best invention after the wheel. In other words, I went to use the urinal.

However, the sight that greeted me was that of a urinal overflowing with... well you know what. Somehow I think the pipes got blocked and there was a backflow. Water was also shooting out of the top of the urinal. I don't know why. I'm not a plumber although sometimes I may look like one.

That overflowing urinal got me thinking, and gave me a little bit of inspiration to write this.

Hey, nobody ever said I couldn't draw inspiration from an overflowing urinal!!!

You know, that overflowing urinal kind of reminds me of us, humans living today. Our heads are overflowing with all kinds of worries. Just like the urinal. Although the urine...errr... I mean worries are filling our heads to the brim, more keep pouring in. Sigh.

There is, however, one thing we can learn from this urinal. It accepts more urine every second, and yet it overflows and allows excess urine to go somewhere else (the floor, much to my disgust). Likewise, although we humans are not able to stop worries coming in, we should learn how to let go, letting them flow out. That way at least we won't let the stress drive us nuts.

Yes, I know it's odd trying to learn one of life's greatest lessons from an overflowing urinal, but what I wrote earlier actually makes sense (at least to me).

*It's not everyday I say something that makes sense, so when I do, kindly appreciate it. :)

By the way, I decided against taking a photo of the urinal. Imagine this: you come to my blog, and the first thing that hits your eyes is a photo of an overflowing urinal. I strongly believe that although seeing is believing, we are better off not seeing some things. (If you don't believe me, go ask Ms. Elizabeth Wong from Bukit Lanjan. I'm sure she'll give me her full support.)

Ah, and may you have a clear mind after reading this post. An empty urinal is always a nicer sight than a full one. Of this I'm dead sure.

Dreadful Driver's Driving Done

Against all odds, the 1/2 past 6 driver turns back into the driving range, maneuvers the roundabout at snail speed, and stops.

The relieved guy in smart uniform sighs...

' Okay. Pass. '

...and he hands our happy driver a whole stack of different coloured paper before shooing him out of the car.

So who says miracles don't happen?

Yup I pulled it off alright. I got my family and friends to thank for their moral support. Terima kasih banyak-banyak semua.

I was quite lucky. I was hoping not to get the Bayan Lepas route, and I got the Batu Maung route instead. That was because somebody before me used his kancil to kiss an oil tanker on the Bayan Lepas route. Quite a mess. That's what the tester told me. I kind of owe that guy my thanks, but I pity him too. Nobody would like that to happen during their turn.

So next time you cause something bad to happen, don't feel too bad. You might have helped sombody else unintentionally!

To whoever that guy is... I'm sorry you had to go through this but thanks a lot. My best wishes for your next try.

Blogging And Beyond!!!

So... Juan's a blogger now. Fortunately or unfortunately.

As I am no computer genius, creating this simple blog was one hell of a struggle for me. Rome wasn't built in a day, and I can assure you this blog wasn't created in a day too. Maybe if I got some help from the Romans, I would have finished faster. Bet they would have been only too happy to help.

Anyway, I have still much to learn about blogging, so wish me luck ladies and gentlemen.

And if you happen to see any Romans by the mamak stall, tell me.