Steamboat Got Steam No Boat.

It's been raining like there's no tomorrow lately, and it's getting cold, even without the help of cold jokes. This plus the pressure of 1 assignment, 1 assessment and 1 test around the corner all point to 1 undisputed fact - it's a good time to sit around a steamboat. Basically the steamboat is a metal object with a depression in the middle, making it look like a boat, and yes, there's steam coming out from it because there's hot soup in it. That's why it's called a steamboat. So, all said, I can now tell you that on Thursday we all went for steamboat.

To get to the steamboat... I mean the place where you can find the steamboat one has to take a ride on 2 Myvis. One driven by Ai-Lynn, the other by ChiaYi (Thanks friends for the transport). They say 千里之行，始于足下, so to reach that place you must begin your journey (as though you don't know). Due to the fact that my fingers are sore because of 3 hours of typing a cursed assignment I do not want to mention, I will not name all the people present at the gathering. Someone else can take the attendance this time.

A picture says a thousand words. I'm making use of this idea right away.

Before everyone arrives.

Some arrive.

All arrive.

The 'yin-yang' boat and the clean foil.

The foil 45 minutes after we begin.

It's actually fun just sitting there eating and watching the rain. Yes we did talk and joke, but my table was the most quiet and peaceful table. Again I will repeat on my blog what i said 3 times on that day. We talk. We don't SHOUT!!! There's another story I repeated more than 3 times that day. A lot more than 3 times. it involves Lay Kiew, the steamboat foil and a pair of chopsticks. I don't think I want to repeat the story here or Lay Kiew will make sure I never touch chopsticks again in my life. That's it. Now I can tidur.

May The Gods Watch Over This Driver

Aww great. The car keys have gotten into the hands of this driver who only confidently drives to the Lip Sin markets. Now this joker's tasked to drive himself to college (at least for the whole of the week). There's a bit of a problem with the 2nd gear of his vehicle (yes, it's a manual transition car) as it often refuses to get engaged. Ah well it's an old car anyway.

...and did i mention his parking skills cause onlookers to close their eyes with their hands?

I suppose it's just a process of learning.

VERY slow learning.

Once the gear gets repaired perhaps things will be better. Here it would be appropriate to record my thanks to the college pals that gave me a reverse-parking lesson today. 3 acting as teachers and me as the student. Apparently I'm getting quite some support.

So, may the Gods watch over this unsteady driver as he continues his adventures.

The Actor

Beyond, between and behind
fall in place
within his sight

but sight is not insight.

The play isn't short
nor made up of smooth flow.

Twisted without linkage
unseen and unnoticed
but real.

Deceit
within and without
pathetic
but pronounced.

Paths have been changed
the story has been changed.

Unwillingly
the seeds grow
and black is therefore white.

The actor
has control
has lost control
or did he ever have control?

Pretence is not control.

Pretence is the actor
the coward on the stage.

A Slightly Larger Gathering

Ya it is common practice that when we have a 4 hour break, we must escape college, at least to find a more er... satisfactory lunch than the one provided by the college caterer that never fails to... help students who intend to loose weight skip lunch. I am under the impression that my classmates know exactly what I mean.

So, Gurney. Far? yes, but when it comes to avoiding lunch at college, I have found out that distance is usually the least of our problems.

Reminds me of a movie about a volcanic eruption. People running as far as they can.

After lunch somewhere we again went to poke little balls. Pool and snooker. Let's just say that if poking the air and making balls fly in weird, wrong directions was the point of the game, I would have been the undisputed champion. But alas, it doesn't work that way. Now to let the pics do some talking on my behalf.

We study the menus like our law texts.

Those guys at the end placed their orders really quickly.

This is called taking the attendance.

Tea, anyone?

It's a big table, no doubt. Not within my field of expertise. Perhaps I should try flying kites...

2 In 1

Monday meant another bloody long 4 hour break for us TAFE Semester 2 comrades, so I ended up learning to play snooker with the rest of the guys. Just hold that long pole, use the thinner end to aim at the white ball, then poke it and hope it goes where you want it to. There's quite a lot of physics involved really. Especially resolution of forces, but that's a different story.

It's all about STRATEGY!!! I said STRATEGY!!!

2 sticks are better than 1.

The radar screen tells that the battle is not in our favour.

Wei Zhe, the poker and his errrrr... Poker Face.

Fortunately, Ewe Juan the first-timer didn't take anyone's eye out. That's very good news indeed.

Monday's snooker aside, today I was pulled out of class midway through writing a very troublesome essay. Ms Lim who came hunting for me told me that a TAFE auditor from Australia decided to pay the college a visit, and is checking everything from the TAFE syllabus to the lecturers' Malaysian accents. The auditor wanted to interview 1 student from every semester. So they got Mr. Beh to do the lucky draw and that's how I got dragged into the story.

So I had to handle an Ang Mor from Australia. That's a new experience. Ms Lim's advice was brief. Just tell the Australian what you know. Mr. Kee's was even simpler. Just crap.

Just crap. Okay then. It's not that I haven't done that before.

I don't know how but I ended up being the first to meet the auditor. I think the Sem.4 representative was late. So they throw me in first. Alamak. The auditor was a lady. Quite friendly. The questions asked were actually quite straightforward. She just wanted to know if INTI was doing it's job well and whether our program had any problems. When she asked me what was the toughest subject, I said "LAW!!!" and launched into a lecture about how abstract the ideas were and how weird the language was. I even told her Mr. Tan is a good storyteller. Very true lah, although he cakap monotone punya. I didn't tell the auditor that.

Around 20 minutes of talk and I was given a souveneir.

Yup, the auditor's card. Then I saw the word INSTITUTE DIRECTOR. What the heck! I 有眼不识泰山! Luckily I didn't suan anybody during the interview. :P

Juan And The Ridiculous F.A.Q.s

Q: How did the idiom 'cock and bull story' come about?

A: During Medieval times the chickens were kept far apart from the cows. And therefore the cockerels were kept away from the bulls. This was due to the fact that the bulls usually trampled the male birds to death if kept in close proximity, as bulls were not known to be careful walkers. So, it was impossible to find a bull and a cockerel together, which would mean utter nonsense, and hence the birth of this idiom.

Q: Can ants hear you talk?

A: Science aside, the fact that cursing an ant's mother does not cause it to react in any agitated manner points to the absence of a sense of hearing for ants. However, it could also be probable that the ant did curse you back, but it was just too soft for you to hear. Further experiments will need to be conducted in order to fully answer this question.

Q: LOL has so many meanings. Which is the official one?

A: It is true that LOL has many meanings, but it was originally only meant to stand for Laugh Out Loud. Hence Laugh/Laughing Out Loud may be considered the official, with Lots Of Love trailing as a second. Other versions like Lose Our Lungs, Lack Of Labour, Look Out Losers! and a lot more can be considered cheap versions invented by people like me.

*Getting quite an education, eh?*

Q: Why's a bulls-eye a bulls-eye?

A: Nobody would ever want to hit a bull in the eye, as even the survivors living to tell the tale would lose a few limbs and maybe an eye. So since you can't really go hit the real thing, you might as well paint something and hit it with darts and arrows, and call it a bulls-eye. It won't harm you, and you can show off about hitting a ferocious mammal's sight-receptors.

Q: Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

A: The carrot's in the ground, with soil, be it brown, black, yellow etc. The orange hangs in the air. The colour of the soil seeps into the carrot, darkening its shade of orange. As for the orange, it's colour is all original. No extra dyes. So the orange is lighter. Why is the orange called an orange then? That you have to ask those idiots that gave the orange its name in the first place.

Q: Can goats smile? (Derived from 'Senyum Kambing')

A: I can't think of any damn reason why a goat would ever smile at you, but for the people who tried to make a goat smile, most ended up with goat horns stuck in their stomachs, and the lucky ones got great running training. This has discouraged researchers from further investigating the mystery of smiling goats. Goats, it is believed, can't actually smile, so if one ever looks like its smiling at you, it's probably suffering from a minor stroke, causing it to lose control of its mouth muscles, or it may be just a goat's version of Parkinson's Disease.

Early In The Morning...

It's been rather hot these days. So if I wake up at 6a.m. in the morning and go out cycling at 7, it should be better. No searing heat. Perfect plan right?

Wrong, buster.

Just my luck. On my first trip out on my bike, I got caught in a drizzle. Later when the rain stopped I tested my luck again. This time I got caught in a downpour. It takes bad timing to get caught in the rain once. VERY BAD TIMING to get caught twice. On the bright side, I got a free bath, and my bicycle's now sparkling clean. The ol' bike hasn't had a good wash in ages. Blame it on the lazy owner.

Front wheel needs some air.

Menacing dark clouds.

The field's abandoned due to the impending shower.

Later. Looked promisingly clear, but that was when I got soaked.

Puddles forming in the garden.

Steaming hot cup noodles. Perfect after escaping the sky juice.